Many women ask this question. This article will give you a guy’s perspective on why some men find it hard to, or don’t want to commit.
First of all, let me ask you a few questions:
Would you love to commit to a $2,000 a month mortgage?
Would you love to commit to taking the trash out every week?
Would you love to commit to doing the dish washing every single day?
In all the above questions, the word commit has a very obligatory undertone.
It almost feels like committing to something would mean that we are obligated to do something and we would therefore have to surrender our own freedom.
The word commitment almost has a feel of “I don’t really want to do this, but I have to, or I should but it’s not going to be the most pleasant experience.”
Obligation, or the feeling of obligation, is one major reason he won’t commit to you.
Why Won’t He Commit To Me?
Let’s talk about the idea of “got to do” something versus “get to do” something…
Feeling like you’re obligated to do something never feels that good, right?
Life is a lot more fun when you get to do something, not when you got to do something! Men know this subconsciously.
One of the biggest desires for men, regardless of tradition or culture, is freedom.
The Masculine energy strives to break free and experience freedom. It wants release from the constraints of life.
Some men fight for their whole lives for freedom, and to experience freedom.
Usually once they find that sense of freedom, they would never let it go.
Why men won’t commit: Obligation murders freedom
When we love to do something, it is never an obligation.
You don’t ever hear men complaining about going to golf – but work is a different matter. More people die on Monday mornings at 9am than any other time in the week. Coincidence?
Tell me ladies, is it easy or hard to commit to a shopping spree?
What about committing to washing the dishes every day? Is there a difference?
What does it really mean for a man to commit to a woman?
From a man’s perspective, he would have to buy stuff for you, spend lots of money, (it’s not so bad if he’s got the money to spend, but if he doesn’t…), spend time with you listening to all the good and bad stuff that you have to say, spend time when you request his presence etc.
From his perspective, he will have to fork out all these resources, so the question he will ask, (consciously or subconsciously), is whether you are worth all this or not.
Some men just don’t want to deal with the excess baggage that women sometimes carry.
It doesn’t make the man feel good whilst being with you, and the last thing you want to create for him is a terrible association with you and the thought of you.
It all goes back to men and their desire to feel free.
Should Men just “grow up” & be more responsible?
So for a lot of women who are in the situation where he won’t commit – the question naturally becomes, shouldn’t men just grow up?
Shouldn’t they just be more responsible and stop being little boys in big boys’ clothing?
Well, my question to you is: do you want to be a “responsibility”?
Or would you rather be something precious that he can’t help but want to hold on to, cherish and take care of? His one and only woman?
While you’re reading this, and feeling that perhaps men are not willing to GROW UP, just remember, it has nothing to do with growing up.
It is men’s desire for freedom. If they didn’t desire it, they wouldn’t be men, and you wouldn’t feel attraction for them in the first place.
Should you “ask” him to commit to you?
The point is; if you want a man to commit, if you want a passionate, happy long-lasting relationship, don’t ask for your man to commit.
If you ask that of him, and he delivers this “commitment” even though he knows he will feel less freedom because of it, then you are taking away his masculinity and what makes you attracted to him in the first place.
By saying you’re taking that away, he’s really just surrendering it.
What will happen after a while, is that, sure he’s around you more often, but you’ll have less attraction for him. You’ll have the security of his presence by your side, but you’re trading off the passion that you could create in the relationship.
There is NO commitment needed when you do the things you love to do. You just do it.
Here are 10 signs of a commitment phobic man.
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my new program. Click HERE to get yourself a copy!)
The answer to the problem…
So instead of asking the question of why he will not commit, I suggest asking a better question.
Such as this…
“How can I create more passion and attraction between him and me, so that he won’t want to be anywhere else?”
“How can I build up the excitement and tension between him and I so that he would feel like never going anywhere else?”
The power you have is in the attraction you can create between him and you.
A man already has so many responsibilities and obligations, as well as demands on him in life that if YOU can be his source of freedom, then being with you will never feel like an obligation because there’s so much passion between you.
It’s a horrible thing for a man to go to work and then come home to yet another obligation.
I’m sure you sometimes feel the same, right?
With this ingredient, he wouldn’t want to go anywhere else…
If you created that passion and excitement between the both of you, he wouldn’t want to go anywhere else.
You certainly won’t have a problem with him committing; he’d love to be around you.
And if you want to get more of an understanding of men and inspire him to commit fully to you, click here to register and watch the free Commitment Masterclass.
If you’d like to understand this topic further, see my article: Why He Pulls Away From Me and the Relationship?
And also: Why He Disappears and Withdraws? What Can I do about it?
What did you think of this article? Any opinion, thoughts, questions or objections, fire away!
This article is a guest post written by my lover and husband, David.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.
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